The Queen James Bible

I kid you not… A Gay Friendly Set Of Scriptures.

The Queen James Bible is doing for the church what gay marriage rights have  done for many states, making religiously accessible without discrimination. The bible which was just recently released for sale features the teachings of the scriptures in a gay and lesbian friendly manner.

The homosexual friendly bible does not list editors by name and on Amazon the  books publisher is simply noted as “Queen James.”

Located at the books editors write:

“The Queen James Bible resolves any homophobic interpretations of the Bible,  but the Bible is still filled with inequality and even contradiction that we  have not addressed. No Bible is perfect, including this one. We wanted to  make a book filled with the word of God that nobody could use to incorrectly  condemn God’s LGBT children, and we succeeded.”

In some cases the Queen James Bible editors say they have simply corrected  gay hate wording added to the bible in recent memory. For example notes that the word “homosexual” wasn’t included in the bible until 1946.

While the bibles editors did not delete passages they did make changes to the  eight most cited passages used to spread hate speech against homosexuals.  According to the editors the passages were amended “in a way that makes  homophobic interpretations impossible.”

The bibles editors explain why they chose the King James version of the bible  for their Queen James Bible edition:

“The King James Bible is the most popular Bible of all time, and arguably the  most important English language document of all time. The brainchild and  namesake of King James I, who wanted an English language Bible that all could  own and read, it has been in print for over 400 years and has brought more  people to Christ than any other Bible translation. Commonly known to biographers  but often surprising to most Christians, King James I was a well-known bisexual.  Though he did marry a woman, his many gay relationships were so well-known that  amongst some of his friends and court, he was known as “Queen James.” It is in  his great debt and honor that we name The Queen James Bible  so.”

Sorry, I’m feeling a little queasy after reading all this… In fact, I think I may be sick.